I’d like to go to Church but

A is for the Auntie who will come to tea
B is for the Bed that won’t release me
C is for the Car – we do need fresh air
D is for the Dinner that mum must prepare
E is for Extremes – too high or too low
F is for my Feelings – when they’re right, I go
G is for the Garden – much nearer’s God’s heart
H is my husband, who won’t play his part
I is for Intruders who sit in my pew
J is for Jealousy shown by a few
K is all that Kneeling which tires me so
L is the old Language, it’s so out of touch
M is for Money, they always want more
N is for the New tunes I’ve not heard before
O is for Overtime, double on Sunday
P is for the Preparing I must do for Monday
Q is for the Queer noises that come from the choir
R is for the Rector – he ought to retire
S is for the Single men – I must contact
T is for the Telly we really must see
U is for the Unfriendliness I always find
V is for Voice of that woman behind
W is the Weather, too hot or too cold
X is for eXcuses, I’ve got such a lot
Y is for the Young rowdies who sit at the back
Z is for Zeal – and that’s just what I lack